Toilet Paper Caper Part 2: Once again, it’s on!

6:30 am, we mount up and journey to Home Depot Station 11. We are sleepy, but hopeful. Determined not to be defeated, we descend upon the orange steel doors. To our dismay; no TP in sight. But we did discover where all household cleaning items are in abundance with maximum purchases of 10. We turn about and quickly move down old Glenstone Road to Lowe’s Landing. Omg! This looks promising. We were greeted by Friendlies who quickly informed us that there had been no TP seen there for days; and that there may not be any for quite some time to come. This left us with no choice but to visit Mt. Menard’s. This would be my maiden voyage. Having traveled Chestnut Expressway to this massive structure, excitement builds once we approach and I see the beacons of light shining through the large windows. These lights were the siren song of Mt. Menard’s as they lured us inside and sealed our fate. There were traps set down every aisle. We dodged deals and doorbusters and remained focused on the mission at hand. Wait, what’s this?! A moose riding a zambonie-like machine that is leaving floor wax in its trail. What does the enemy have planned? What is this distraction? In the distance, we spot it….end caps FULL of TP. We approach with caution. We have been out a long time. Our caffeine is waning and our bodies are weary. Could it be? No! PT; loads and loads of PT (aka Paper Towels). An enemy disguised as a Friendly tries to convince us that we will go into quarantine indefinitely and there won’t even be deliveries. And then he says it; they may never get another delivery of TP again! We’re smarter than that. Oh, we will be back again. We plot our next move, but first; refuel! Alas, a First Watch tower is in our sights. With bacon and coffee, we accept our defeat on this day. Oh, TP hoarders, you may have won the battle; but you have not won the war! We will be victorious! Part 3 soon, but first, a proper nap and new strategy. We will ride again!

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